The first question to ask yourself is:
DO I CHOOSE MY ROMANTIC PARTNERS?
OR DO THEY CHOOSE ME?
To me, it usually feels like WE CHOOSE EACH OTHER!! ๐ ๐๐โ๐ก?!
But is that actually true?
Have you ever chosen a partner based, not on how much you like them, but on how much they like you? Or maybe how they make you feel?
In the past, I have almost always chosen the person that likes or loves me the most, above everyone else in my life at that time. And the more they show me their love, the more I love them back. I have chosen the guys that immediately feel like home, the ones that felt like Iโve known through many lifetimes, the ones that feel like we were made from the same cloth, or like we are different versions of the same person. And Iโve chosen the men that are so incredibly beautiful, I canโt believe they actually like me.
๐ต๐ข๐ก, ๐ค๐๐ ๐ผ ๐๐ข๐ ๐ก ๐๐ ๐๐๐ฃ๐ ๐ค๐๐กโ ๐กโ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ฃ๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐?
๐๐๐ ๐ผ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ฃ๐ ๐ค๐๐กโ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ฆ ๐ฃ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐กโ๐๐?
These are fabulous things to ask ourselves because it tells us if we are in โPROJECTIONAL LOVEโ or โRELATIONAL LOVEโ.
โ๐๐ซ๐จ๐ฃ๐๐๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง๐๐ฅ ๐๐จ๐ฏ๐โ is essentially mistaking true love for what one could call teaching love. These partners are here to teach us about ourselves, but typically wonโt turn into long-term relationships.
โ๐๐๐ฅ๐๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง๐๐ฅ ๐๐จ๐ฏ๐โ means loving someone that is different from us. We love the person not for how they make us feel, what they do for us, or for finding a lost part of ourselves. We truly love that person because they are distinctly different from us. This is true love.
The best way to know what kind of love weโve been in or what kind of love weโre in right now, is to make a list of all the qualities we love about that person.ย
Go on…make the list. Even if itโs just on your phone.
Yes, I said write ๐คชโฆโฆโฆโฆโฆโฆโฆโฆโฆโฆโฆโฆโฆโฆโฆโฆโฆโฆโฆโฆโฆโฆโฆโฆโฆโฆโฆโฆโฆโฆ..
Ok now, look at that list. ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐
๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐?ย
If they are mostly about the other person, then you are probably in Relational Love. BUT if, like me, your lists are mostly about what they do for you, how they treat you, and what they offer you, then you are probably in Projectional Love.
Examples like:
I loveโฆ
– how you worship me like a GODDESS
– how you make me feel safe, loved, and so special
– how you can always make me laugh
– how youโre always thinking about me
– how you feel like home
– how we always seem so aligned
– how it feel like a force greater than us brought us together
๐๐๐ค, ๐กโ๐๐ ๐ ๐๐ข๐๐๐๐ก๐๐๐ ๐๐๐โ๐ก ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ฆ ๐ค๐๐ฆ๐ ๐ต๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐กโ๐๐ ๐ ๐๐ข๐๐๐๐ก๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ก๐ข๐๐๐๐ฆ ๐๐๐๐ข๐ก ๐๐๐ฃ๐๐๐ ๐กโ๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ป๐ ๐๐ป๐ธ๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ฟ๐ ๐ด๐ ๐ธ, ๐คโ๐๐โ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ค๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ฃ๐ ๐ค๐๐กโ ๐๐ข๐ ๐๐ค๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐กโ๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐คโ๐ ๐กโ๐๐ฆ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ก, ๐กโ๐๐ ๐กโ๐ ๐๐๐ก๐ข๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐กโ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ฃ๐๐ .
These projectional relationships fall under 4 categories: ๐๐ฐ๐ข๐ง ๐
๐ฅ๐๐ฆ๐ & ๐๐จ๐ฎ๐ฅ๐ฆ๐๐ญ๐ ๐๐จ๐ฏ๐, ๐๐๐ซ๐๐ง๐ญ๐ฌ ๐๐๐ฌ๐๐ฆ๐๐ฅ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐๐จ๐ฏ๐, ๐๐จ๐ฅ๐ฎ๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง ๐๐จ ๐๐ฏ๐๐ซ๐ฒ๐ญ๐ก๐ข๐ง๐ ๐๐จ๐ฏ๐, and ๐๐๐ฅ๐ข๐๐๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง ๐๐จ๐ฏ๐ (credit Layla Martin).
Get ready!! Next week we will dive into these different ๐ญ๐ฒ๐ฉ๐๐ฌ ๐จ๐ ๐ฅ๐จ๐ฏ๐โฆ
For any more information about love, sex, or relationships or to inquire about coaching with me, please send me a message!
LOVE LOVE LOVE from beautiful Sayulita, MEXICO
jess ๐โญ๏ธโจโก๏ธโ๏ธ๐