I do. But I just never knew it.
I have always felt FULLY available for romantic commitment; always wanting a man who wants all of me, forever. But the thing is, I have never ever chosen that man to love.
When that type of man comes around, who wants to love me fully and forever, I make him my friend because I don’t feel any chemistry, or I feel overwhelmed by his uncomplicated feelings for me and think thoughts like, “𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑔𝑢𝑦 𝑖𝑠 𝑤𝑒𝑖𝑟𝑑, 𝑤ℎ𝑦 𝑑𝑜𝑒𝑠 ℎ𝑒 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝑚𝑒 𝑠𝑜 𝑚𝑢𝑐ℎ? 𝐹*𝑐𝑘 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑠ℎ𝑖𝑡, 𝐼’𝑚 𝑜𝑢𝑡.” Haha.
Here’s the thing, there is a part of us in our unconscious primal brain, that often equates the unknown with death, and that part of us wants us to repeat the same patterns again and again, because it’s safe, it knows the way, and it thinks we won’t die if we go that route.
And this explains why my sweet inner child is so suspicious of any man who truly loves me and wants to be with me for the long-haul. She has never experienced that kind of love and commitment from my Dad, so she doesn’t believe it’s possible to receive from a partner, regardless of what my higher self knows.
𝐓𝐨 𝐦𝐲 𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐫 𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝, 𝐚 𝐟𝐮𝐥𝐥, 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐢𝐭𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐚𝐥𝐬 𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡.
I have come up with all types of false stories to explain my many relationships that lasted a year or less. I’d tell myself that there’s something wrong with me, that I was broken. I let myself believe that men just never choose me in the end. That when they get to know the real me, they decide that I’m not good enough. I told myself it’s better to be single.
But I never paid attention to whether the men I was choosing to love actually had the 𝐀𝐁𝐈𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘 to commit to me at that point.
I know that I have a pattern of getting into “non-relationship relationships” with partially available guys and hope they chose me to love forever and ever, since that’s the transformation I’ve always wanted with my Dad. That was obvious to me.
What I wasn’t able to see is that underneath the desire to make an unavailable man available, is a deep, deep fear of commitment.
I choose men that will never fully commit to me because they actually feel safe.
They are what I know.
𝐒𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐰, 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐠𝐨 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐫 𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐮𝐧𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐢𝐬𝐧’𝐭 𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐬𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐲, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐬𝐚𝐟𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐥𝐨𝐫𝐞??
The first coaching practice that really worked for me is an embodiment process which allows you to really, truly imagine having the thing that you most want, like reeeeeally step into it, and then work with whatever comes up in your mind/body as resistance or a block.
With each step of connecting with your fears and integrating them with love, you get closer and closer to fully embodying your desire, which is the first step to making your desire a reality.
Truly embodying your deep desire is not always easy. You might feel disgust, nausea, dizziness, pain, and feel like you just want to run away and hide (like me). And that’s ok. It’s important to continue to move through it and complete the stress cycle. And each time you practice, we get closer and closer, until one day you are able to fully embody what you want AND feel amazing, empowered, and confident. Like ANYTHING in life is possible.
You might not even recognize yourself, as you’re now effortlessly making different choices, choices that are in alignment with who you TRULY ARE!!!
IF you’re interested in learning more about the VITA™ Method of sex, love, and relationship coaching and all the awesome embodiment practices I know, send me a message or schedule a 30-min Intro call.